In every relationship, whether with lovers, friends, family, professional peers, and strangers alike, we are offered the opportunity to be seen. The risks that are taken and the worthiness that is cultivated every time that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable are writing our story of victory or victim! My thoughts go to many of the books that I have read on the subject of vulnerability and the lack of it that exists in our culture. My question is do you feel that space within that longs to be felt, and constantly asks to be seen, and do you allow it to come forth? In my humble opinion, I believe that our mental, physical and spiritual health depend on it. The gift is not just our own, but everyone that we come in contact with gets the best that we can be, the truth of who we are, and this will create a life that feels aligned and purposeful. Relationships change, confidence rises, and courage roars!
The pressures of this culture and the mass marketing message is that we are not enough, we are too this or not enough that, and this message alone can keep us dimmed and stuck in self doubt. If you look deeply, and spend a few moments on connecting to your inner voice, it is likely that the chatter is less then empowering. Working with clients over the years to shift their current experiences, we often sit looking at each other as they come to realize that their greatest enemy is themselves. That inner critic that keeps saying that you are not ______enough, fill in the blank (pretty, skinny, smart, successful, wealthy, deserving, etc.) . I am here, right now, to tell you that it is not real and that you can begin to show up and heal this issue, with honesty and courage. As I began to grow my own awareness to my own fears of beings seen, I had many moments of terror! That terror was there to teach me that I was scared of being seen, being criticized and being ridiculed. It taught me that I was being brave and that this new way of expressing my truth was courageous. It was there to show me that my fear was suffocating me. It was there to remind me that no matter what anyone else thought of me, I had to trust myself and show up. My whole life depends on it now, as I could not accept anything less with this understanding. My inner critic will show up, but no longer does it have any power over me. I have learned that it is an old voice of irrational fear. The realest fear I have now, which motivates me daily, is that I would ever stop risking being seen.
We can be honest, courageous, and vulnerable with others when we are able to practice this with ourselves. The willingness to accept that vulnerability and being seen is in fact our path to solid, strong, and valuable relationships is one key. The willingness to know that we are worthy and that we matter is the second key awareness in being truly seen. The willingness to look at our lives and know that if we are feeling exhaustion, anxiety, fear, unworthy, or even feeling physically ill, we do have the capacity to change these experience, one moment at a time. Every room you walk into, every conversation you enter, every letter you write, every person you encounter, is the perfect space to practice showing up, being authentic, being seen and stepping into the courageous active energy of being loved, or disliked for who you are. What we choose to do in our moments is what matters the most. What we choose to express in this world is up to us, and when you look at statistics, the most positive, inspiring influential people are those that have dared to showed up, courageously, and have walked their talk, and shared their journeys, because they knew it mattered!
Take a moment today to look in the mirror and really look at the eyes looking back at you. This person that is staring at you is dependent on your bravery and your courage. This person deserves for you to get real about what matters and what doesn’t. This person matters. This person wants you to show up and be seen. Breathe.
Angela N Jospeh
Wellness & Lifestyle Coach